16 Renford Road
Soliloquy #1
Submission Techniques
"The Form"

Family Feud: Shakes-peer
- Brian Scaccia

	Once upon a time there was a war, more of a feud actually, 
between the only two families in the town of Pomona. It would have been 
a village instead of a town except for the fact that the families were really 
big. The Montgomerys and the Catapults were constantly fighting. (Over 
what no one really knows, maybe a cow). There were gunfights daily 
which were held high noon-style as in any other old west town; except for 
the fact that they were held promptly at 12:45 because tea was at noon and 
they needed to allow some time to let it settle. 
	One night the Catapults decided they would hold a hoe-down, a 
shindig. (What's with all the references to farm tools and their uses?) The 
impetuous Rodeo, who was a Montgomery, along with his friends Benny 
and Merc, decided to crash this square dance. While two-steppin' the night 
away, Rodeo meets a lovely cowgirl, Marionette, awash in her beauty 
(which is good because he hasn't bathed in weeks), he falls deeply in love 
and decides not to pull himself out. That night he returns to her barn and 
calls aloft to the hayloft. Marionette comes to the window, probably 
because they can't afford a balcony, and says, "A rose by any other name 
would smell as sweet." Probably referring to his recent awashing. The two 
lovebirds call to the local Fryer (because they're out of roasting hens) and 
ask to get married. After the ceremony they return home for a roll in the 
	The next day Rodeo, Benny, and Merc saunter down the street. 
While sauntering, an unnamed man fires a shot from the grassy knoll on 
the other side of the plaza. Merc falls after the immortal statement, "I am 
hurt." Rodeo, in all of his rage, returns a beautifully orchestrated volley of 
fire, (no small feat considering how hard it is to play volleyball and 
conduct symphony at the same time). The man, who is later identified but 
is kept secret by the CIA for "security" purposes, turns out to be a long 
lost relative of Marionette's. Rodeo is ousted from town and not allowed to 

16 Renford Road (two)
Page 19
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